


As good as you can be

by UnicornBliss



Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hoehyuk, JunDong, June's character development kind of fic, Junhwe's pov, M/M, Minor Character(s), Non AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 22:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8641405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnicornBliss/pseuds/UnicornBliss
Summary: Junhwe's nights turn sleepless. Donghyuk's smiles turn scarce.





	

It’s around two in the morning when junhwe wakes up, chased by awful dreams and a growling stomach that demanded to be filled. He drags his long, heavy, and dormant limbs towards the kitchen and opts for a quick snack in hopes of silencing the whale sounds erupting from his body. There’s a lingering feeling floating in the air when he turns around, surveying the living room then back to the empty kitchen. As of recently, the place had appeared eerily unoccupied, soundless sans the howling autumn winds crashing against the windows. Sighing softly, he brings the bottle of milk up to down its contents before wiping his lips sloppily, drifting his eyes in distaste as realization dawns onto him.

Few weeks back, a couple of days ago and perhaps several memories in the past, a certain body would be perched on the kitchen counter, slurping on cereals or noodles, munching away like the day wasn’t nearing its end nor the skies were a dark shade of navy blue. He didn’t give it any piece of mind when he further spared himself the couch by the corner of the living room while a lazy smile decorated his face, eyes trained on the nothings playing on the TV screen. Subtle sounds filled the apartment, from occasional breathy chuckles to the muffled voices of the cheesy drama playing, creating a homey atmosphere for the insomniac vocalist. Junhwe would lie meekly, stating that the sounds interrupted his slumber when in fact, they were the sole reason his eyes remained shut while a peaceful expression adorned his tired face. Donghyuk would then offer him a seat beside him and despite the other’s defying mannerisms and stubborn façade, he’d relent to shifting closer by each passing minute. On some days when Donghyuk’s generosity reached unimaginable limits, he’d get off the couch from where Junhwe’s been leaning against him and strut wordlessly to the kitchen for a good ten minutes before he’s back with a bowl of steaming mushroom soup prepared on spot. Junhwe would ask him why, and Donghyuk would only say “You seemed like you’d need it.” 

On some other days, Donghyuk would be too exhausted to move an inch, not even able to reach out for the spoon on the coffee table as he continued monitoring the screen like he’s hooked when really, nothing’s ever piqued the blond’s interest that much aside from a few things they all knew of. Junhwe knows the situation wasn’t usual, realizes it’s the alarming hint that required his interference but every time he made an attempt, a kind smile would come in response and he’d end up lost for words until they both succumbed to sleep.

 

Junhwe must’ve expected the overshadowed change that’s happened by now, starting from the gradual disappearance of Donghyuk’s smiles to the rare times he’d visit the kitchen. Clenching the plastic bottle in hand, he discards it in the trashbin, a grunt escaping his lips at the throbbing pain hammering in his head. Sleep didn’t come easily for him, nor did the calming presence that slipped from his side before his hands could hold onto it. He rests his head on the wall, eyes seeking the flickering lights of the kitchen’s ceiling while random thoughts flooded his mind, from the packed schedule to the cold sheets waiting for his numbed limbs and aching bones. Nothing replaced Donghyuk’s presence, he admits a bit petulantly. 

 

\--

Morning comes, with it the loud banter of six other members including an impatient leader. He lets his eyes rest for a few seconds, melting into the refreshing noises that ushered him to lose himself to sleep but the manager’s voice reaches his ears and all of a sudden, he’s on his feet. 

“You look terrible.”

Junhwe’s grunt is enough to tell he wasn’t having it today, like any other morning. Yunhyeong’s light punch on his arm followed by “Rest well, will you?” doesn’t hit him precisely until he’s knocking on the bathroom’s door, waiting for the occupant to let him in for the time didn’t allow individual showers, and Donghyuk’s wet face emerges from behind the door, all sleepy and scrunched. “Hurry .” He says, and Junhwe nods absently before undressing himself to join the latter. 

When he steps into the shower, Donghyuk moves to the side offering him space while his hands scrubbed lightly at his arms, soap cascading on caramel skin and rinsed down by the gush of warm water falling on his head. Junhwe doesn’t mean to stare, but he does. That’s when it clicks. Donghyuk’s physique looked different, and not in the pleasant way signifying his multiple visits to the gym, but the way that had Junhwe gasping softly, worry etched on his face. Donghyuk hasn’t been in the kitchen much, not even sharing the restaurant meals they’d get on the way excusing himself by the lie that he’d rather cook something at home. When recalling everything and linking it together, Junhwe thinks the members might have been right about his dense mentality. 

He gulps down while blinking slowly at Donghyuk’s slim face, protruding cheekbones formed anew, standing idly under the shower head and ignoring the loud demands coming from outside. Donghyuk’s head whips around when no movement is heard from beside him and they look into each other’s eyes, perplexed into concerned ones.

“Junhwe? Why are-“

“I thought you stopped coming to the kitchen because you preferred sleep. I should have known.” Junhwe spits out in regret, watching the shorter’s face contort in confusion.

“What?”

“Why’re you skipping meals?”

Donghyuk’s lips part, brows settling back in place and hands halting slowly for a moment before he chuckles bitterly. Junhwe knows, Donghyuk isn’t just doing this unintentionally. He’s purposely cutting back for god knows what reason and even though he’s had an idea he hopes it’s not the case. Then again, why else?

“Answer me.” He prods, holding Donghyuk by his arm and earning a disheartened smile. Donghyuk never smiles halfway. 

“I want to lose weight.”

“For what reason?”

The banging on the door grows louder, this time jinhwan’s voice cuts through scolding them for taking so long when the van’s arrived. Donghyuk eyes the door but Junhwe’s grip on his arm remains demanding and he sighs heavily, patting his shoulder. Turning around, he grabs the shampoo bottle pouring some into his palms before spreading it in between the taller’s strands while speaking quietly, as if someone would’ve heard. Junhwe heeds nevertheless. 

“No one’s forcing me into this, I just-“ He chews on his lips, fingers running gently on the taller’s scalp while breathing down onto his face. “I want to show a better side of me. “

“That’s unfair.” 

“How so?”

“No one’s eager for a ‘better’ side you’re already as good as you can be.” Junhwe argues, holding the soap and rubbing it to his chest and shoulders as his hair was drenched in shampooed water. “Stop doing this to yourself.”

Donghyuk attempts to smile again like always but it comes out stiff and unintentional. The look Junhwe throws him proves that and he’s back to washing the younger’s hair in a haste. “We’re late.” He manages to whisper a few seconds later. 

\--

 

The boys trail behind their roommates instinctively rushing to their respective beds the moment they reached their apartment. Junhwe’s too drained to mutter a sour comment at how Chanwoo’s sweaty armpit on his shoulder irked him when they bump into each other and the younger didn’t seem like he’d be sober enough to reciprocate. Ragged breaths, heavy sighs and groans of pain subdued by the shower’s steady pitter patters are drowned by Donghyuk’s soft yelp when he stubs his toe against the bed before falling to his back like a corpse. Junhwe moves a little to the side, blinking tiredly at the other while Jiwon’s snores commenced from somewhere in the room, probably the upper bunk where he usually settled. Donghyuk chuckles dryly at how exceptionally obnoxious they were this time around. Junhwe on the other hand curses under his breath, the dreadful headache seeping back to his head like he’d expected. He doesn’t catch Donghyuk’s eyes on him, laced with a hint of concern and perhaps sorrow. The next moment, Hanbin stumbles in with a towel on his head telling them the bathroom was vacant for them to use. Automatically, the same aged pair trudge side by side into the shower, this time wordless with a thick untouchable air separating them. 

 

When Junhwe’s routine happens this time around, there’s a tuft of silver locks resting on the kitchen table while a cup of milk and bowl of carbs were placed by his head, prepared for a certain someone whom he half wishes were him (not like he hadn’t known, Junhwe liked believing that he wasn’t that confident of himself- of their bond.) His slippers make a sound on the tiled floor and the blond head elevates itself from the cold surface, facing the usual intruder with a lazy smile.

“Long time no see.”

Junhwe’s smile breaks on his face and he doesn’t even find it in him to hide the gush of relief washing over him, dissipating the permanent pain in his head and replacing it by the calming thoughts of going back to where they’ve been once upon a time, when Donghyuk’s insecurities died by Junhwe’s admiring eyes and the latter’s building stress crumbled to the blond’s relaxing puffs of breaths, hopeful smiles and loving nature. 

It might’ve been a dream, but Junhwe is convinced it was the best dream he’s ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> Donghyuk's recent weight loss and my obsession with jundong made this happen on impulse. My debut in the ikon ficdom is kinda half assed but let's appreciate the sunshine that is dong dong because he's as good as he can be if not perfect <3


End file.
